I’ve been seeing a lot of health insurance adverts telling me in going to die soon and it makes me wonder about life and death. I think about what will happen to my body after I go, donate it for scientific research? A burial? Cremation?
It would be pretty great to have some intern open me up and play with my insides but another great idea would having my bare body buried under some tree to decompose. Or maybe just letting wild animals eat my rotting carcass. And before you think, god damn that’s depressing, it’s actually more interesting for me than anything else. I’m not scared of death, I feel like when the time is right it will happen. I also don’t believe in an afterlife, I feel like that’s just a notion used to comfort people who aren’t ready for the inevitable.
I recently went to a wedding of a very close friend, happy thoughts for the couple of course but it’s also hard to ignore the ‘what the fuck am I doing with my life’ thoughts, the answer to that depresses me: ‘not much’. Most of the time, whatever I’m doing I feel like I’m standing still, agonising feeling but let’s save that for another article.
You should never have to question if you have or are currently doing enough to keep yourself satisfied. And no, it’s not about keeping ‘God’ happy or following all the rules to keep everyone else around you happy. I believe it’s doing whatever makes you content or satisfied (and if you’re not hurting anyone else then what’s wrong with it?). It’s interesting that people who keep their focus on things like God and ‘social rules’ all throughout life tend to believe in an afterlife. A reward after some kind of mission ends.
That’s where I’m gonna leave it for today. Something to think about perhaps.