So it’s Valentine’s Day,
And as many others, I intend to and will spend it alone. But let’s quickly discuss how fucking stupid the idea of singles awareness day is. Let’s assume it came from a social media, most probably Tumblr, some lonely special little snowflake wanting to have a day just to feel sorry for themselves.
I hope it makes them feel lonely and sad. Empowerment has no place in this world.
There are many of those around nowadays and I’m not sure if extermination is appropriate, I personally feel no empathy whatsoever. Teenagers like the ‘other-kin’ and those bitchy feminists are the ones that piss me off the most, but let’s save that for another article.
Here’s Wikipedia’s background of Valentine’s Day (enjoy the bad grammar):
“This day is celebrated just because of the students who did not completed their assignments on the viva day. Pratik Patel was the one of the students in that. St. Valentine’s Day began as a liturgical celebration of one or more early Christian saints named Valentinus. Several martyrdom stories were invented for the various Valentines that belonged to February 14, and added to later martyrologies.”
So back to Valentine’s Day, it’s obviously a bullshit holiday. We spend loads of money on crap like chocolates and roses and should really be treating our significant other like that more than just on Valentines, blah, blah, blah. Pretty obvious folks, however being a shitty human being, I enjoy the holiday. The commerciality of it all gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. I enjoy seeing roses and teddies and chocolates all over the place, it reminds me that we live in a world where love can be bought. Cheap now too. Don’t you worry if you treat your partner like garbage the rest of the year! Just grab them a few roses or a teddy bear, go to a nice dinner and at the end of the night, hit dat ass.
So another year goes past where I can go through Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (not getting anywhere near Tumblr) and see the ice cream and cookies and bourbon the lonely people are shoving down their throats. I simply sit back and enjoy the thought of how sorry they will feel for themselves when they realise that another year goes past where they are sad and alone. Blaming their loneliness on their weight whilst getting fatter on purpose, the irony is magical.
So Happy Valentines everyone, I truly hope that you have a great day. Full of Valentine’s Day porn and sticky tissues. I have a feeling rum will be my valentine tonight but that might just change to tequila depending on how lonely I get.