A dark twist to the end of the year

A depressing end to the year. I look back and try to pick out achievements or just about anything that will make me look like a good person and the closest thing I can think of is running over a squirrel, later finding the bushy tail stuck to my tire. 2015 was one hell of a drag, one of the longest yet shortest years and if that doesn’t make sense it’s because alcohol has not yet entered my system.

Fun things I remember include going to Amsterdam, going to the red light district and ‘not’ going down on a hooker. Oh and also ‘not’ almost killing FluffMaster2000 (i.e. my cat). For 2016 I could say I wish for a lot of things to happen but those things are definitely not appropriate for this blog. However I do look forward to the year ahead, next year is going to be a big one and I really do plan to do more… ‘Things’… the chances of those ‘things’ to be either sexual or satanic or allegedly ‘illegal’ are highly likely but you didn’t hear that from me.

If you’re thinking ‘oh no not another long, boring year’ then you’re probably right, it’s going to suck. Nevertheless, I do have some advice for you, my friend. If it’s just another year to be stuck in a pointless cycle then make it good, go out of your way to do something that will actually make you happy and make sense to you. Don’t drag yourself along just because people expect you to, why bother with that? (These kind words brought to you from Jared Fogle- ‘He’ll love your children right!’)

So enjoy Christmas. Stay away from paedophiles. And have fun shoving that ice cream down your face as tears stream down your face and all you can think is ‘no one will ever love me’.


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