Interview with Wood Bois

If you were going to make a porno what would you call it and would it have a specific plot?

Blaine:  It would be called “Sex Fuck” and it would be about a bunch of people, like a whole shit ton of them, probably like 70-80 people just lying there on top of each other in this big pile.  They would then proceed to have a sex fuck, as one large pile.  The person at the bottom would die because there would be 80 people on top of them and the weirdo on the top would love it the most.  He would be turned on by death and at the end his “ejaculates” would spell out the words “Sex Fuck” and then it would be over.

Julius: Everybody knows that the best pornos have funny sounding names. Mine would be called Booty is in the Eye of the Bee-holder and it would involve lots of big asses, some sexy eyeballs and at least one person in a beekeeper’s outfit.

HIT D’ HITS:  (silence)

What do you think human meat tastes like?

B: To me, I would think it would be the most delicious, the most delightful meat of them all.  Hell, when you’re as delightful as we are, as most human beings are, why wouldn’t it be the best tasting meat?

J: I actually know the answer to this one. Before I gave up eating meats entirely, I went on an ultimate meat journey around the world. I tried all the meats imaginable: sheeps, baby birds, hamburger meats, toads etc. The last meat I had in my mouth was actually the meat of an old man named Shem, who donated his meats to me after he succumbed to The Disease™. Human meat tastes almost like monkey meat. A little too tough for my taste. I’ve heard newborn meat is more tender than old person meat, but I’ve never had the pleasure of trying any.

H:  (silence)

What has been your most bizarre sexual experience?

B: What’s “sex?”

J: Sex is for reproduction purposes only, and I am not yet ready for the responsibility of having children. Thank you.

H:  (silence)

If you were an STD, what STD would you be?

B:  Personally, I’m gonna go with AIDS.  I like to be the best at what I do and AIDS is definitely the most powerful STD of them all.  So yeah, AIDS.

J:  Definitely Trichomoniasis.

H:  (silence)
Walk me though your creative process i.e. how do you make music?

B:  It’ll either start with Julius and I having a fucked up conversation and then we start to sing about it or HIT D’ HITS has a little thing he’s put together and we get together and freestyle and build off of it.  The improvisation we do is almost always fuelled by large amounts of alcohol and it’s usually done in a really hot room underneath a red light.  I usually sprint back and forth in the room as we’re doing our freestyling.  I think it must help me think.

J:  I usually just let the demon Metatron possess my body and see what he comes up with. Hail Metatron.

H:  (silence)

What has been the inspiration behind ‘Meth Girl’?

B:  It’s actually about my grandma.

J: It’s about Blaine’s grandma.

H:  (silence)

What are you currently working on and what can we expect to see next?

B:  We’ve been trying out some experimentation with our live shows, adding a guitar player and stuff.  Maybe we’ll have some more instrument players added to our line-up soon too.  Who knows, there can never be too many instruments.  New songs too.  Probably some new songs.

J: Oh, and hopefully we’ll have our first full-length album out very soon.

H:  (silence)

check them out on facebook (facebook.com/WoodBoisBuffalo) or twitter (@wood_bois) or listen to their music for free at soundcloud.com/wood-bois and

woodbois.bandcamp.com/

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