Your Guide To Surviving Yet Another Exam Season 

Exam season is almost upon us, the wonderful time where, wherever you go, bits of brain will be splattered all over the ceiling. Personally, I am facing my AS exams this year and so far it has made me give up all hope and lose interesting in just about everything. Other than food, let’s face it we all love food.

I bet all of you GCSE students think, ‘finally, I’ll get out of this dump’ , well.. No. I can promise you that it’s only going to get worse and the hopes and dreams you have, let’s just say those will be put on a long hiatus. But before  I make all of you want to kill yourselves let’s discuss a few ways which can be useful in surviving this wonderful time.

One of my good old favourites is especially hippie-fied when you can do it when it’s dark and outside. No it’s not a three way involving Mexican drug dealers. Mediation is one of those things we can all do, so many different techniques that no one really cares about. Just close your eyes and think about the thing you love most. I bet if I could keep it up I would you something you people call ‘a nice person’ whatever that means.

I advise you strongly against this one, however it needs to be mentioned because it’s one of my favourites. Eating everything and anything that comes your way (god damn you’re a pervert) until you make yourself feel happy. I would love to say I feel ashamed from shoving wonderful things into my mouth (not like that you pervert), however until someone is about to see me naked (and let’s face it that’s not happening any time soon) my rolls are safe.

Since I have now run out of ideas I will leave you with out last stupidly ingenious thing you can do. Take a moment to take a deep breath and look at yourself and your life in general from the outside, what the hell are you doing? Do you need to be obsessing about that or is it simply a waste of your effort?

That is it with me about being ‘nice’ and helping you, since my writing declines to something like a panda falling (off a tree) into it’s impending doom when I do it. So I believe I should stick to being the good old fashioned cunt.

Coming up soon… More feminism vs. chubby polish also the long overdue music and entertainment reviews. So stay tuned.

Now get out.

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