The Voice; the greatest gift television can give?

It all started on one pathetic Saturday night; I made my way down to the living room to discover four pitiful celebrities, sitting in throne like chairs while a lowlife sings their heart out to desperately get on the radio, many inferior humans came and went, singing like ducks during rabbit hunting season, some were accepted some weren’t, it looked like the sloppiest set up British TV has ever spectated and that’s really saying something. Furthermore I believe it’s great that some people think they have a bright future in the music industry however the ‘judges’ of the show will make them into money making monkeys and take 30% of the profit. Auto-tune ‘ftw’ as some may say.

Adele’s cousin was there too, she presented herself like a ball of joy from the 60’s (including the heroin). Everything I hate about the human species. She was about 30 however looked a little too underage to even be on the show; never believe a word she says. Unless you see an ID. She looked a bit like she was molested and got stuck in the time before some guy decided to use her as a sex doll. The good times. I’m guessing she has undergone countless of face re-forming surgeries, from people like me beating her face with a baseball bat. Where is the bat when I need it?

So, my dear reader, I now ask you- like I actually care- is the show somehow refreshing from the excessively polluted British air? Or just a chance to heartlessly ridicule talentless hopefuls?

Personally, for me, it is simple a chance to make my swift escape out of reality. I get a chance to think about how much I hate most people and that my friends is the greatest gift television could ever give and as always in the words of the great Charlie Brooker, “Now get out”.


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