Come dine with douchebags

“The knives (and forks) are out as a group of strangers compete for the ultimate dinner party host. And the £1000 on the table adds a spice to the the proceedings”

-Channel 4

Come Dine With Me; in short a bunch of ‘English’ people making food for each other in hopes of winning a grand. I first came across this show one night when I cluelessly wondered downstairs in hopes of finding food however instead I caught sight of the show on TV.The first thing I noticed were the contestants appearances, to be completely honest with you, they looked like they have been beaten with baseballs bats during a strange sexual activity, which is usually considered the entertainment (if you don’t watch the show that part just made no sense) part of the night. My amusement grew when I realised that their appearances matched their personalities so much so I wanted to grab that bat and take a swing at their faces myself; this has created yet another stereotype image of English people in my head. Furthermore their behaviour towards themselves is some what disturbing, I find it truly concerning that they believe it’s common courtesy to lie to their face by telling each other they love everything and everyone when they’re together and then calling each other pricks when they get their one to one time with a camera (and I don’t mean what you think I mean, perverts).

This torture usually carries on for five painful half an hour episodes, in which the narrator (Dave Lamb) insults the contestants more often than the druggies in my school get high in a year (and trust me that’s a lot), at the end of it all, all of the contestants want to kill each other and the torture comes to an end when the winner rubs twenty pound notes into everyone’s faces. And that concludes that. Then the contestants briefly trash each other on camera, the narrator insults them all for one last time and the credits are rolled.

In summary I found it rather difficult to watch 5 crack-heads burn some chicken for drug money, however it is one of the classiest, and generally one of top quality shows out there, it simply shows how easy it is to amuse the human species so pay attention all you aliens who want to take over the world and let me spoil something for you, you’re not an alien, you’re just high. And in the words of the great Charlie Brooker “Now get out”.

Big thanks to *Ellyn Sweetman* for helping me edit this one!

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